When we are told to make a list of things or traits we look for in a friend or romantic interest, we often go for the big and boisterous options. Tall, handsome, charming, funny, dark, light, good communicator, etc. At some point I had even crammed this list in descending order. From things that must be there, to those that I could possibly pass on.

As I grew older, this list grew shorter. Perhaps because life taught me not to be too picky. Perhaps because I found out that some of my requirements were superficial and very outwardly. I thus narrowed down to about 5 and ‘gentleness’ was among the number.

There is something about delicacy that really touches my heart and catches my attention. Someone who goes out of their way to handle intimate and often serious matters with delicacy and gentleness. For example, when a girl/woman finds herself in a messy situation during her menstrual period, people respond to this in different ways. Some will look away in shame and refuse to help. Others will stare judgingly wondering why said woman wasn’t more careful. While others will perhaps laugh or even mock at the victim’s accident.

However, in special occasions, a different kind of person will show up and respond in the most kind and unusual way. They will perhaps offer their jacket or scarf to cover up. Take the woman to a bathroom and even help them clean up. If they happen to have an extra set of clothes, they will immediately give it to her without a second thought as to the inconvenience they will later face. And as if all this is not enough, they will hold your hand, give you a reassuring smile, a kind word and even a hug. Making all the bad things that happen fade away in all their triviality.

This is not what happened to me. I don’t even know why I used the example. I guess it is because that scenario is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a female. In my opinion at least. It wasn’t that. But I was in an embarrassing fix today as well. And it took me hours to try and figure out what to do. And when I had no options present to me, I had to seek out help from a friend.

In my head, I pictured the whole situation taking a very different turn. I expected a cold shoulder, or impersonal help. Like when someone helps you out of ‘moral obligation’ and not because they want to. However, what I got moved me so much, I had to write about it.

I texted my friend Mzungu and asked if he could help me out with something. I have no idea why I went to him specifically, but I did, and I cannot be more grateful. Mzungu didn’t even ask whys and what ifs. He immediately helped me as though he had been waiting for my text. And as though that wasn’t enough he goes, ‘I know how much struggle it has taken you to send this text. God’s got us, so we get each other.’

Ah my heart! My spleen, my knees, and every other part that can feel! Such simple words. Such powerful impact. He could have just said okay, and left it at that. But he decided to be there, in all gentleness and delicacy, and made me feel like I had nothing to worry about.

It might not seem huge or worth the fuss. But the feeling I have in my heart begs to differ. So Dear Mzungu, I just want to say thank you. And I celebrate you. You had no reason or obligation to help me, but you did. You had to no reason or obligation to be kind, but you were. You had no reason or obligation to be gentle and personal and impactful, but you were. I have been in messes a lot of times. I have been helped a lot of times. But I have rarely been ‘seen’ as you saw me today, despite the several hundred kilometers apart. Thank you is not enough. But for now it is the best I have. Someday though… I will celebrate you as you deserve. Asanti sana love.


If we are both single by the time we are 40, I am going to propose 😁. Maybe by then I shall have become worthy of your awesomeness.


-Of gentleness-


They say,
We have lost our way,
That we no longer walk,
In the paths of old,
That we have abandoned,
Our culture and traditions,
For those of outsiders,
Those that don’t understand where we come from.

But the thing is,
We have only done what nature needs,
Changed and evolved,
Adapted even,
To all the new and different,
As we try to find steady ground,
On which to build practices of our own.

We pay homage,
To the soil from which we are moulded,
Revering it’s sanctity and holiness,
While we stretch our arms,
To the sun that shines above,
Hoping to hold even a fraction of its majesty in our grasps,
We are more curious,
Of what lies outside,
Our ears pick tunes,
That aren’t from familiar drums,
And our hearts feel drawn,
To winds and air far from home,
From what we know.

We aren’t a hopeless generation,
We aren’t misguided and lost,
We are just trying to find out who we are,
Amid the chaos and confusion,
Too much is going on,
And we cannot remain as we once was,
Because the Universe calls,
And we just want to see,
What she has in store,
Otherwise our minds will always wander,
And our souls will lose their light

Poem #101

Art by: Unknown.

Naked Thoughts








Of what was,

And what could be,




And adaptability,



Some sort of safety,







Sometimes succeeding,


But mostly,

Just winging it,


Heart breaks,

Once in a while,



Happy tears,

Memorable experiences,

Long walks,

Quiet talks,

Saturday mornings,

In each other’s arms,


Sad songs,

Hot chocolate,

Comfort blankets,

Lumpy throats,

World stops,

Monday mornings,

Back to normal,

Long days,

Longer weeks,

Time passes,

Wounds then heal,









Mixed feelings,


All of it,


And Life,

And then Life.


Poem #98


Is a word,
That rings nicely,
In my ears,
And makes my tongue roll,
In the most amusing way,
But that’s as far as it goes,
I don’t remember,
Being taught,
What it exactly was,
But I kept saying it,
Kept throwing it into my poetry,
To sound smart,
And fool the crowds,
It seems,
People like,
And even respect,
The possession of balance,
As a skill,
Perhaps as a trait of character?
And it wasn’t until,
My ignorance got overshadowed by curiosity,
That I found the meaning.
Balance, went with words such as ‘steady’ and ‘equal proportion,’
Like one had to continually measure,
To always be on the lookout,
To ensure this balance,
This… similar distribution of weights,
Of Things,
Of Thoughts,
Of Emotions…
But how can one measure what they feel,
If it comes like a risen tide at the sea,
Winds beating,
Waves crushing,
Without warning,
Body dangling like a leaf,
Fully surrendered to the force that carries it?
Where from, how even,
In that moment,
Of overwhelming ecstasy,
And thrill all sporadic,
Does one conjure balance?

Poem #95